I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
