Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
