I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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