I just made out with a guy for $7.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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