He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
