I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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