Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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