i can't believe i had my finger in that
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
