does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
