I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
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Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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