He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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