So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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