what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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