and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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