I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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