O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
