Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I met the friendliest cop last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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