so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
