Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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