also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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