the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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