I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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