Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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