Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
