Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
