I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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