alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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