He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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