I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
