Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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