I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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