You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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