Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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