Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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