Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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