He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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