it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
