the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
