And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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