We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
