Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
