Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
