dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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