How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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