Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
