In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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