My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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