We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
