you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize