Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
