Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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