I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
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He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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