Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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