Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
