No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
