I think scott just propositioned me for sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
