Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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