Don't make out with my wife yet
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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