is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
there is puke in my bra ... again
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