A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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