I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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