dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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