He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
