he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
