By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
