I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
