youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
