So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
