I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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