So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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