I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
