I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
