I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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