Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
