He disabled his match.com account in front of me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
