I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
