I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
